“To Be Fabulous” – Drag Dads and Chosen Families

This week on Some Families, Lotte and Stu chat to the fabulous Mrs Kasha Davis from Ru Paul’s Drag Race about the dynamics of being a step-parent and a drag queen. Kasha is married to her husband, who has two daughters from his previous relationship, and discusses her parenting role, the wider family dynamic and how the drag community has provided a sense family for many young queer people.

Mrs Kasha Davis:  We don’t talk about gender or sexuality, unless it’s asked, we talk about, did you happen to see somebody different? Treat them with kindness. Some families have a drag queen. Step-mom a dad and two daughters. Oh, and a wonderful dog too.

Stu Oakley:  Hello and welcome listener. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Hello. We are some families, the LGBTQ plus parenting podcast, and I am Lotte Jeffs. 

Stu Oakley:  I am Stu Oakley and Lotte and myself and each of us have fairly young children. So you could say that we are new to this game. And so we are so lucky to speak, to able to be getting so many parenting, insightful, an incredibly diverse community and incredibly diverse.

And Lotte this week is no exception, we have our very first Drag Queen superstar Parent this week week. And one of the stars from RuPaul’s Drag Race. It’s only Mrs Kasha Davis.

Lotte Jeffs:  I am such a huge fan of RuPauls drag race as I am sure so many of you are.

Lotte Jeffs:  listen to the chat that we have literally just had, we are hot with mrs. Kasha Davies. Yes, we were both glowing. And actually I don’t smile that much naturally, but I found myself grinning from ear to ear throughout our whole conversation with her because I have a direct for a start.

She just looks completely fabulous and she just is an inspiration. So she was, for those of you that don’t know in season seven of RuPaul’s drag race gone too soon if you ask me, but nevertheless, she’s one of the few drag Queens who have children. So some of the other drag Queens, do you have children before you write into correct,

Me are tire Sanchez, Nicole Page Brooks and Tempest Du Jour.

Stu Oakley:  Yes. Mrs Kasha is married to her husband, Steven and Steven has two daughters. They are from a previous relationship and when they first got together, the girls were only seven and 10, but now they’re all grown up and they have this amazing relationship.

It was so good to hear about their relationship from being young through to the teenage years and now into their adult ages.

Without further ado, Mrs Kasha Davis

Stu Oakley:  So mrs. Kasha Davis, look, you, you look fabulous. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Yes. I thought I’d made an effort tonight. I put lip gloss on for the first time since we’ve engineered anyone. And now you come on here with your fabulous hair and your shoulders and your glasses. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  They’re so sweet. I’m dressed from the waist.

Oh for these zoom interviews or shows you don’t need to wear hips or panties or shoes. Well, and it’s funny because I positioned myself in front of my favorite Mmm. Things here. And, uh, it’s a mirrored, a dresser, and I’ve noticed on a few of my videos that I put out for story time and like, Oh, this Mrs Kasha.

Davis has hairy legs today, or no shoes. You have to be careful. 

Stu Oakley:  So let’s go back a little bit. When was mrs. Kasha Davis first born, of course, without a lady revealing her age. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Well, listen, I’m I have no problem revealing my age. I play it. I live as a 49 year old man Ed, but mrs. Kasha Davis is really, she could be older and that’s, what’s great because when I take off all the drag, people are like, wow, you look younger.

I play an older gal. No, I, uh, As a little boy, girl, gal, girl, boy, fella, whatever I was back then, I really admired my mother and my grandmother. And I, I, I just gravitated to their fancy Italian style and their overdressed way of life. And so I back then was just, I was always that fancy boy, you know, and my father would kind of like push that down and I had a poodle.

They only liked me and it didn’t last very long and her name was cautious and I grew up on Davis street. So that’s exactly how I got my name. That very basic way to get your drag name or your porn name, whatever you’re into is first pet first street. So that’s how the name came about. And I got misses because I, I was a married lady, uh, when I first started performing in my forties.

And I was, Oh no, my late thirties, I was a little, uh, you know, I was prudish, there were strippers. And I said, Oh my goodness, no, I can’t, I can’t be standing and dressing next to them. I have a husband out in the audience. And so then the host announced me as Mrs. Kasha Davis. Cause she’s a 

Stu Oakley:  Mrs. Davis was born after you met your husband then.

Well, you 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  know, it’s interesting. I don’t know if you’d know who Miss Richfield, 1981 is. But she’s my inspiration. Uh, look her up. She’s on the www.fabulous drag queen. Uh, we were vacationing our first vacation together where we decided we were going to be a couple in P town and it’s a very gay vacation destination.

And ms. Richard was performing now. I would see Darien Lake and Pandora box and Aggie, dune, and Ambrose, and all these fabulous divas here in Rochester. And I thought, Oh, they’re trying to be pretty. And I just didn’t relate because I’m, you know, I’m a Husky fella and I didn’t understand, but miss Richfield was not trying to look pretty at all.

And she had a fun character and she’s staying live and I laugh. I know the theater background and I thought I can do that. And so mr. Davis and I all the way home from our 10 hour drive from P-town talked about, well, what would mrs. Kasha Davis be? Well, actually Kasha Davis, because we named me immediately first pet first street.

And we were just, we were so excited about, so it’s always been mr and mrs. Davis, when I first started doing drag, he’s always been my backup fellow. 

Stu Oakley:  And how did you two, how did, how did you meet in the first place? 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Oh, we met on gay.com. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Oh old school. I remember 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  gay.com. Yeah. We had dial up back then. So, you know,

and, um, yeah, so we started dating and it was just, it was great. And, huh, I was, I was thinking, this is the one and he’s just so darling. And then one day he said, I need to talk to you. And I was like, great. Here comes the friend conversation. And he said, I have something. To share with you. And I was like, what is this going to be?

You? This is getting heavy. He said, I have two daughters. It was previously married. And I didn’t introduce you to them or talk about them because I’ve had a bad experiences where people would, you know, runaway, 

Lotte Jeffs:  how long into your relationship with that bombshell dropped. It was, 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  you know, it was about, three months

Yeah. And I was over the moon excited because I grew up in the seventies and eighties. And, you know, back then, Elton John and Barry Manilow and Liberace, they were all straight.

Lotte Jeffs: Isn’t that wild!

And so I think know that you can have a life out of the closet and the way that I wanted to have a life, I wanted to have children and a family and a Christmas. And I didn’t understand. And I was told at least. I was told and you can’t have those things being gay, you cannot do. And so I grew up just depressed and you know, of course there was no gay marriage and there was none of that.

And, uh, so when he told me I was over the moon, I couldn’t wait to get to the mall and spoil them. 

Lotte Jeffs:  And do you remember the first time that you met them?

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Oh, yes. So it was around this time of the year, actually about, it would have been about a week ago, around mother’s day. Uh, early may and we went to what we have a festival here in Rochester once the good weather hits, we have a festival every weekend and it was the lilac festival.

And so we’re celebrating the blooming of lilacs. I mean, really, but anyway, so we plant and I was so proud too, because you know, it’s one of these local festivals where you get to see some of the other gays and you see some of the other people walking around. And so we’re holding hands and I’ve got the youngest on my shoulders.

The whole time. And I remember just being like, so sore carrying her around, but I was so proud to be that little family together, walking around 

Lotte Jeffs:  as Kasha at the time. Where were you? 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  I know I was as ed. Uh, yeah, I live as ed and I hit the stage. as Kasha. It wasn’t very long after we were together that Mrs.

Kasha Davis. It started to, to occur and you know, it fulfilled that need for theater. I went to school for theater. Well, you know, I was told I can’t, you know, that’s the big part of my story is you can’t, I have a family of being gay and you can’t have a, a life in theater. And it was now I know it was trying to be realistic and give me other backup plans, but it felt like people weren’t celebrating what I was, who I was and what dreams I wanted.

Lotte Jeffs:  When you were married to your ex 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  wife, 

Lotte Jeffs:  That talk about starting a family with her. And was that something that kind of sat comfortably or uncomfortably for you? 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  I wanted to have children and she kept saying she didn’t. And I think, you know, we were high school sweethearts and I actually came out to her two times and her response was, Oh, you’re just very European.

We’ll deal with it. 

Stu Oakley:  Wow, 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  that’s not her fault. That’s my fault. I still, I, you know, that she didn’t keep me in the marriage. She didn’t keep me in the relationship. That was my choice to stay. And, and so we kind of both started to go our separate ways for obvious reasons. And, uh, I think she knew enough that this was not a great idea to have kids with me.

Mmm. So she knew I definitely wanted to have a family. And, and as we got towards the end of our relationship and, you know, we were both. Cheating. Mmm. She ended up. With the fellow that she, she met somebody in, in Spain, she was studying abroad, but apparently she found a fellow. Um, and, uh, yeah, so they ended up getting married years later and she did have two kids.

Uh, we never reconciled and I don’t believe in regret, but this one thing in my life that I say, I wish we were able to reconcile because just in the last year, uh, she passed away. So. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Oh, I’m so sorry. That must be hard. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Very hard. It got me a little emotional just saying it. Um, but I believe in the energies being there and I feel she and I have in some ways, uh, she sees a different light now.

Um, so God love her, but, and God bless her kids and her husband. So. 

Lotte Jeffs:  So you were eventually afforded this kind of amazing family that you you’d sort of thought that you wanted for yourself. Yeah. And did you feel nervous when using them for the first time? 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  I did. I love kids. I knew that they might be like, what’s this, you know, but I’m patient.

And I knew my instincts from the beginning. Were that they didn’t need a mother or father, very comfortable being an uncle because I have nieces and nephews. And I was like, okay, well, it’s very much like that because, you know, in their particular dynamic, mom was present. Dad was present and they were both good and active and, and they didn’t need me to replace either of those, you know, people.

Um, and just to be in addition, For them in their lives. And boy, I can tell you some stories as we went on that I got to get the brunt of some of the stuff that they didn’t want to talk to their parents about. Yeah. Now our youngest is engaged to be married and I cannot wait to be a grandparent. 

Lotte Jeffs:  And so what were the teenage years like you sort of just glossed over some of the stories that you could tell us, but are that, can you 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Oh, sure.

Lotte Jeffs:  You know, can you share?

Mrs Kasha Davis: We were lucky because we changed the. We wanted to help mom and give her some break. Cause she had to do the wake up in the day. Don’t want to wake up for school and then, you know, and we didn’t have to deal with that. We got them on Wednesdays and every other weekend. And I said to Steve, I was like, listen, weekends are so much fun.

Let’s have them every weekend, offer it to Deb. And if she, um, he was okay with it, we’ll have the kids in the end. They’ll give her some time. To just chill out and relax a little. She was immediately like, yes, no problem.

So we had them on the weekends. Well, it’s funny as they started to get to that age, that teenage age, you know, there were some conflicting messages, mom, I would say, no, I did not want my daughter’s wearing high heels because. Uh, they could get hurt. So I was like, okay, girls, this entire weekend, I’m gonna pray.

We’re gonna practice wearing heels. Everybody wears heels. Every time you stand up, you must be wearing heels, all these heels and the were all around the house and it was funny and fun. And of course I was like, there is no way our girls are going to a prom or semiformal and flats. They could take them off at some point or the heels up, but they have to arrive in here.

It’s just, you know, Well, so, and then another time they came over and dad, uh, Steve was like, well, I’m going to run outside. I’m going to do the lawn. We had this tiny little lawn. We lived in the city of Rochester at that point. And they said to him, okay, we only have a few minutes. We have to ask you, uh, is a blowjob sex.

What do you guys want a soda? Like what’s happening here? You know? So I got those questions and the questions about like, You know, because I had sisters, it wasn’t really difficult for me, but I got thrown questions like that, or, you know, the difference between, you know, a pad and a tampon. And I was like, yeah, 

Stu Oakley:  yeah, 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  yeah, I got, we had fun.

I mean, it was just, it was, it was, it was good. It got difficult. At one point, as we got into high school, there was how do I explain? Not only mom and dad are divorced. But dad has a new spouse. And so they had to kind of navigate those conversations with their friends. And there were some difficult times if I was drinking, then I would sitting out by the pool, just drowning in my sorrows.

I learned that lesson that, you know, through thick and thin, we, we are a family, no matter what. And, and we’ve had some tough times as a family, you know, mom and I didn’t always see eye to eye and, and it was difficult for her. And it was difficult for me. And, uh, we’re buddies. Now I can safely say we’re friends, we’re excited about the wedding and, and, and we really have built a relationship.

It was not, we wouldn’t even, she wouldn’t allow me to be in her home at first. Wow. Yeah. 

Lotte Jeffs:  What do you think was the root of that? At the beginning, 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  we ended up having, I think in some ways. A life that she wanted. And she was having a life that we wanted, you know, she has rights on a more full time basis. And then she saw us kind of having the freedom all the time, really in comparison.

So it wasn’t until we really, we just had to have a lot of get together and we are a team. Including her, her significant other, because he, 

Lotte Jeffs:  because I was going to ask what you did to kind of get to a place of harmony. And if he had any advice for other people in similar family dynamics right now. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Yeah, I think it was a lot of conversation, a lot of allowing the other person to vent.

Okay. Um, it can be complicated sometimes and just forgiving one another because. 

Stu Oakley:  Yeah, and I think he’s a very credible 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  say something you wish 

Stu Oakley:  they families queer families, all the families as well go through this journey where that pile by forget suddenly that just company sounds amazing family dynamic, how wonderful those girls to have in their lives.

Not a lot of teenagers have they don’t have that role. And to figure in their life, Oh, Hey, how do I give it to her? Or something like that. It wasn’t their 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  fault that 

Stu Oakley:  the one you picked out, but 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  why should they suffer? They love each of us in their own way. Yeah, 

Stu Oakley:  I think it’s so incredible. The families, whether they’re queer families or non-queer families, kind of all go through this journey when you have step-parents the, you get to the stage where you’ve gone through the tough times and you come out as this incredible family dynamic and just how wonderful for those girls to have someone like you in their lives, who they can turn to.

So not a lot of teenagers have that at all. They don’t have that role model or that figure in their lives to be able to go, Oh, you know, Hey, what’s a blow job or something like that. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Well, and you know, we recently, we were, we were organizing things for a reception hall for the wedding. Okay. Our daughter was sitting across the table with her sister and my husband was farther at the other end next to the one daughter.

And I was sitting next to his ex wife. And then, so the, the woman finally, you know, we’re all answering questions and there’s so many people around the table and she finally said, can I ask a question who’s who, you know, and we all laugh. And our daughters said, well, these are almost all of my parents.

Lotte Jeffs:  That’s so nice.

Mrs Kasha Davis:  And so. It’s definitely different. It’s definitely unique. Um, but I wouldn’t have it any other way at this point. What 

Lotte Jeffs:  did the girls call you? 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  The girls call me Ed. Um, yeah, and it’s funny. They they’ve come to shows and, and throughout the years when they’re growing up.

They thought my, all my jokes were too old and I don’t do new enough music. They’re like, why are you singing about a corset? What’s a corset, you know? And so they at, at one point didn’t get it, but then once drag race it and their friends started to see. Then all fabulous, mrs. Scotta Davis, you know? 

Lotte Jeffs:  So when did they first meet mrs.

Kasha Davis into your relationship with them? 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  So we had moved into a new home and I had the opportunity to perform for the first time while we’re there. I think they went to bed and I went out and then maybe one or two other times after that. I said to Steven, I was like, what is happening? I said, well, we have to tell them what’s happening.

I don’t want them to, what if they wake up in the middle of the night? I’m not there, you know? And so when we told them they were like that evening, They got themselves into drag. We had all this stuff, they kept coming up into different outfits. We sat on the stove with our glass of wine and our youngest was like, I am a crazy zookeeper.

Cause she had all these different lights, leopard prints and zebra prints and stuff. And so we got fashion shows and they would do, you know, they were in band at the time. So they would play music legit. It was just. It was so fun and accepting, but again, our insecurities, we at first were hiding it from him.

And we were thinking after a few times I was like, I don’t, this is my house. And why am I seeking out? You know, And then once they got it, they started to come to the pride festivals. Of course, as they got a little older and they were, they would attend the shows. Like I 

Lotte Jeffs:  said, they were kind of 10, 11 at this age when they were doing the fashion shows, it 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  was so nice to go to a nightclub, but we would perform myself and my friend Aggie, June, we perform at a party house.

Uh, like a dinner show. And so they would come to that and they just thought it was great. They would help out with, you know, setting the table or whatever, 

Stu Oakley:  but so fun for them. 

Lotte Jeffs:  And now they are adults. Have they. Found themselves, um, in a kind of queer community themselves. I mean, I don’t know how they identify, but regardless, have they got drag queen friends, have they has that kind of infiltrated their social labs in a way?

Mrs Kasha Davis:  So they lived in a small town where it was like, where I grew up there. Weren’t a lot of. Opportunities for queer people to be celebrated, let’s say. And now I’m proud to say that. Yes, they have friends that are, you know, either potentially drag Queens or they have, uh, they they’ve been very, uh, helpful with, uh, some of their high school friends.

They, our youngest daughter just got her. A masters and she is the school counselor. And she started at this school. She started the first Alliance club for the both gay and straight communities to come together. And, um, so she’s, you know, in the counseling role and then our other daughter, she helps me by selecting she’s a children’s librarian.

And she helps by selecting the books that I read for story time. So, you know, they have. They re I can tell that our lives have really helped them to open and see different.  no different things that really were not so available in the town. They grew up. 

Stu Oakley:  You must feel so proud that your influence on her has then led her to have an influence on others.

And that is also helping other people within the school. So proud. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  And, you know, and isn’t that what it’s all about, you know, sharing a story so that you can help. Someone else, you know, by sharing your story. 

Stu Oakley:  So listener what you might also not know that mrs. Kasher Davis does amazing story time sessions.

And I love it. I watch it with my children. I’ve got three children and we sat and watched one today and they absolutely loved it. And I think kids do love it. They love seeing a drag queen tell a story and I feel it’s so important in so many ways. It’s interesting. You talk about. The LGBT community sometimes and other drag Queens saying, why are you doing that?

There’s obviously a huge amount of people that are very, very vocal about drag Queens, reading to children. I mean, what are your thoughts around 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  that? Sometimes? Uh, I think a performer needs to know their audience. One time I did a story time at the library. I think that here at some point that caused. Um, protests because it’s public funded and people have the right to say, but when it was a private, private at the theater, we built up our audience up to over 150 people, both gay, straight, young, old children of all ages.

And, uh, and we have had some protesters and I remember being coached because we were supposed to be having a big protest and it never really happened, but I was coached to first off. The idea is that, you know, when they people say, you know, what is the agenda? The agenda is to read a book and to be fabulous.

And to be honest with the kids, you know, we don’t talk about gender or sexuality, unless it’s asked, we talk about, did you happen to see somebody different, treat them with kindness. So if you want to come and watch that, come and watch what you’re going to see, that’s what happens. Then I was also asked why aren’t you explaining.

Why you’re in drag. I said, because the kids never asked the question. If they ask the question, we’ll answer the question. I’ve had a little boy once come up to me and say, you’re really, Oh boy, dress like a girl. And I said, you figured it out. And then he was my helper for the rest of the day. No, we’re not going to lie to the kids.

But when they walk into the theater, they see mrs. Kasha Davis who likes to wear sparkly things. She reads books, and this is where she lives and they want to have a good time. But it’s the parents who have this sometimes, or not so much the parents, some of the adults more than attending. How does the other perspective that’s just not true.

And so I think sometimes that obviously comes from fear, but, um, I do believe sometimes, you know, we have to be careful, you know, my jokes can be off color. I have to watch that. Yeah. Ah, Children. I, I, I can, I can watch myself, but sometimes some performers, they don’t belong in that. And that’s a situation that’s fine.

That’s not for everybody. 

Stu Oakley:  So it’s a really interesting conversation happening over here. And I don’t know if it’s happening over in America as well, about how. About how people not being able to remove one sex life from who they are and their sexuality. As an example, there was a few primary school teachers, gay male primary school teachers who kind of pulled on upon and shamed by a certain group for seeing pictures of them out in clubs or being in drag.

And then feeling that was not appropriate for them to teach their children. Whereas obviously there’s an argument that a primary school teacher can do anything regardless of who they are, their agenda outside of the school, in their personal life. And I think that’s something that also needs to change, but again, it’s changing with the people who are at certain mindset 

Lotte Jeffs:  and I mean, hopefully that’s changing and the more.

The more, we see examples, why are we doing this podcast? And when we see examples of different kinds of families, different kinds of parents, different genders, different sexualities, you know, it’s only by doing it that we’re going to change anything. Right. So, Mmm. Yeah, I guess like thanked you for everything you’re doing with kids.

And it’s like amazing. And you’re such a wonderful role model. I think, as a parent, 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  honestly, I think, uh, you’re you’re saying it best is that it just, sometimes it takes time and it takes us just providing those examples. And so, you know, yeah. If people come to a story time or to a drag show or they see it on TV and they see that these people are safe and okay.

You know, one of the great things about drag race in particular is not so much the show, but the real stories of their lives. And people watching, however, they, however they identify, I can see those stories and say, Oh my gosh, guess what? I identify with that person too. They’re real people. And, uh, and I think that’s part of the storytelling.

That’s so important. 

Stu Oakley:  And I think that’s, what’s made rec race so popular worldwide. Isn’t it it’s is how you’ve done so much for the community because you see just not one person up that you don’t see one singular person it’s, it’s 12 different people who, who, who. 12 different people who are all very individual or have their own personality, each have their own story to tell, and a different look and feel.

And it’s, it’s really inspiring to see. Yeah. One 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  of the things that I wish was used for my season was they had mr. Davis, Steven and Melissa and Jessica are daughters. Have a call in. And so we filmed them calling in and I’m crying and missing them. And they’re saying how proud they are. And, uh, everyone is emotional, but they use that footage of people crying for Ginger’s husband called in and they never aired that of my family.

So that happens in editing. Yeah. So, you know, maybe. We’ll have another chance with all-stars someday. But I think that something that I was, Oh, when I, you know, I was eliminated middle, relatively early middle, and I was like, okay, well, you know what, at least the world gets to see that you can have a family and children.

And then it never aired. Since then we  Steven and I created a life with the Davis’s and you’ll see different videos where we showcase our children. And then, Hey, queen did some videos with a, with them as well. And so that, that made me very proud. Have 

Stu Oakley:  you ever been attracted mother to anybody within the community?

Mrs Kasha Davis:  So Wednesday Westwood. Is somebody who is incredible. And, uh, she doesn’t like to say that I’m her drag mother, but I have been there to, to guide her as much as I could. And I give her a lot of, you know, clothing and things and, you know, she’s that rebellious like younger, you can’t be just a drag queen. If you want a, a longer career, you’ve got to be able to speak on a microphone.

You’ve got to be able to have a, have something to say. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Right. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  So we encourage one another in that way. 

Lotte Jeffs:  It’s so heartwarming, I guess that the drag community has provided a sense of, um, family to so many young queer people and that, you know, chosen families are some families. And so I think it would just be nice to talk a bit about that for a minute.

Drag houses and that concept and give people who maybe don’t have strong relationships with their own families 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  or chosen family is as vital to our growth as our given family. And sometimes more, you know, I, I will say that when I came out to my parents, it’s a long time ago, but when I did come out my father spat in my face and my mother was devastated and, and I felt disowned.

I dramatised that a little bit, but it was not easy for me. And I was divorced and I, and they, they, they just didn’t understand and didn’t want to understand my father knew I was gay since the day. He can never remember any of the first person to call me a fairy. But in that process, you know, Thankfully before he passed, he actually came to see a show and we ended up having a very close relationship.

It wasn’t close for a long time, but when I felt disowned, I created a family, uh, uh, friends that would go to the clubs and stuff. And then the drag family became, you know, it was vital to, you know, we would have misfit Christmas. We used to call it and it was, it was drag Queens. And those that go to see the shows.

That didn’t have family to go home to, or just at least just didn’t want to go home because they just didn’t feel welcome. And, um, you know, I’m very open about the fact that I, uh, I’m at going to be about, I’ll be five years sober, this, uh, July. And in that process of the rehabilitation, I learned to own my side of the street.

And kind of find that common ground and find forgiveness. Unfortunately, I was, I was able to rebuild that relationship with my dad. I didn’t know with my mom before she passed, but, you know, as a, as a family unit like that, of our chosen family, you know, we can share those stories, uh, for one another.

And. You know, while it’s, uh, that, that, that separation felt devastating. It was so important to my growth and to me becoming who I am today, because without me going out on my own and having that creative family, I wouldn’t have found who I was because I would have kept trying to be in my parents shell that they wanted me to stay in.

So it was painful but important. 

Stu Oakley:  Yeah. And without that, we wouldn’t have the fabulous mrs. Kasher Davis. So you’ve got the wedding coming up. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  I am very excited to say that I get to help, uh, their mom with her look and she wants my help for the dress. And I get to be there as a part of selecting our daughter’s dress and be there for them.

I’ll tell you, we used to go prom dress shopping, and mom would be like, you know, the dress has to come up to here and all that. And I’d be like, okay, first of all, girls, we’re not trying anything on until we get the proper undergarments and they’ll be like, what? And like you have, we have to build from the base.

And they were like, um, I don’t want to be uncomfortable. And so they fought me and fought me. I was like, listen, if you want to wear that dress, you need to have something underneath it to hold your body in a certain way. And they were like, Oh God, they were so mad at me. Well, they try enough. Gorgeous. I was, I’m so proud to say, too, that I’ve taught my girls to duct tape their boobs when they need a, you don’t always need a bra 

Stu Oakley:  tips and tricks, tips and tricks latte 

Lotte Jeffs:  quite well.

I’ve realised myself that wearing a white see-through top

Lotte Jeffs:  potentially I needed to my bra. 

Stu Oakley:  My of. Yeah. So at the wedding, it’s brought me onto the topic of a character that we have on our, some families podcast. Her name is Sally aunt Sally, and she is probably about as far removed from a drag queen, as you could possibly get.

She is, well, she’s quite ignorant and she. Always ask the wrong questions. She always says the wrong thing. And we just like to ask people if you’ve got a memorable aunt Sally moment 

Lotte Jeffs:  where someone’s come up to you and said something, that’s just so inappropriate about your relationship with your family specifically.

Oh, your role as a parent, that’s just made you think. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Yes. People have said inappropriate things. Um, I mean, certainly like there, there, people will ask, um, mr. Davis and I like who’s the wife. Many people. I don’t think what I do is a serious job. You’re just out having dressing up, having fun. That must be nice, you know?

Yes. I love what I do. You should consider loving what you do so they don’t get it. Or they’ll ask like, you know, questions about like my physique. Like, did you get implants or no, I live as ed. As, as you know, he male and I address as a drag queen and turn into M

rs. Kasha Davis. So you know, that sometimes can be separate for some 

Stu Oakley:  people.

So have you been to the UK and are you coming back here anytime soon, if you have, and tell me Mrs. Kasha Davis, when you’re coming to London. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  Yes. To all of that. My favorite is London. I love it. I love the people. I feel very much at home. I feel like people understand my drag and my humor and, uh, that I love it.

Bag of chips. I toured my one woman show. There’s always time for a cocktail and I got to perform at Royal box hall. A Tavern and I bounced around, I went to Brighton. Oh, there was a fringe festival there that it was there for that and a bunch of other clubs as well. 

Stu Oakley:  Oh my God. I didn’t realize you were there.

I came to drag con with my son he’s two and we were there enjoying it, loving it. And. I have this little thing with him where he still, every single night I put him to bed and I sit with him and I whisper to him. I say, so what are you going to dream about tonight? And he just turns and he looks at me and he goes Drag Queens.

And he’s so happy when he says it. And he just adores drag Queens. He loves story times and it, it just had so much fun. 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  It’s important for the kids to be able to have that. You know that magic, you know, it is. I think, I honestly think it’s a responsibility of a performer, uh, in one way or another to get out there and provide, because there’s only so much Netflix, you can watch.

Lotte Jeffs:  Oh, I don’t know about you Stu, but it was so nice to see a bit of glamour on a zoom screen. I’m so used to being on it for work, just speaking to people on the zoom, in our hoodies, and there was Mrs. Kasha. David’s just bringing the most fabulous, full. Look this evening, I felt very, very privileged 

Stu Oakley:  and I will not take any offense to that.

Seeing as you have to stare at my face on a zoom conference each and every week at the moment, but I completely agree. She was a everything that the word fabulous was made for. She was amazing. And what I loved speaking to her about as well, was that feeding you actually get from RuPaul’s drag race.

Which we, we, we touched upon in the interview, which is the human side, drag race does that. And it was so beautiful to speak to Mrs. Kasha Davis and see her human side and hear about her incredible family and the dynamics that they all have together. 

Lotte Jeffs:  And how wonderful that she just embraced her husband’s children from the get go.

Stu Oakley:  Well, I found that she really wants that. And I think that also is a really good reminder to us as gays and lesbians and everyone that. It’s been so hard for so many people for so long and not just hard, but impossible. Like the fact she talked about that she just imagine that she would never have those things that she would never have a family Christmas.

So I think to have that in the back of your mind then to be. All of a sudden seeing that opportunity to have it must have been an incredible feeling. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Did you ever do drag when you were a kid? Well, 

Stu Oakley:  funny, you should ask. I am a bit of a failed drag queen. I went to an amateur dramatics group when I was in my early teens and there was a variety show on one year.

And. I decided to do track and I missed, I think I was 13 and I stole. I one of my mum’s dresses, it was a red gold. I don’t even know why she had this hanging out wardrobe. I suppose it was the nineties, but she had a red kind of tight, long dress with slits up. Both sides. I mean, maybe my mum, maybe my mum was a secret drag queen.

I didn’t even know about it, but she had these things with these slips up the side. I got some fishnet tie. I had a huge Dolly Parton wig and a pink for the Boba. And my friends were my backup dancers and we practiced for weeks doing all the moves. Two young hearts run free. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Amazing. 

Stu Oakley:  And I came out of the curtains.

I was that my mum came. And she was sitting in the audience, but she had no idea I was doing it. I had to tell her which could have been a major error, but in hindsight it was quite funny. And I, there was a point, you know, the interlude in the song. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Hmm. 

Stu Oakley:  And I did this little bit where I walked down into the audience and I went and sat men’s laps.

Like I was 13 and I had glitter in my hand and I was go, I, for everyone on my mom was sitting next to my best friend’s mom and she just turned to her and just went, 

Oh, I do worry about him. Sometimes. 

Lotte Jeffs:  I think my dragging experienced. Uh, was mainly confined to, um, world book day and going as, um, I’d always want to go as a boy from a book or isn’t George from the favorite famous five.

He was like the, that kind of toe 

Stu Oakley:  boy in famous fine. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Um, but I went as just William to my book group to my, not the group. I went as just William to my world book day when I was 

Mrs Kasha Davis:  about. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Seven or eight. And there’s a really cute photo of me and like a boys school uniform with a little light flat cap on, um, 

Stu Oakley:  cue, 

Lotte Jeffs:  just smiling from it.

Cause I think I just really loved it. 

Stu Oakley:  I could see you as a drag King latte. I can see it. 

Lotte Jeffs:  I’m really into it. There’s a night. There’s a night called pecs Kings that I’m desperate to go to and with planning to go to before this lemon lockdown happens. And, um, yeah, I need to get my alter ego, just William grownup, 

Stu Oakley:  but using Mrs.

Davis is kind of algorithm. What would your drag name? 

Lotte Jeffs:  My, I think we need a different algorithm for drag Kings, cause it just does not sound Bertrand. My first pet street name would be sugar Bina. 

Stu Oakley:  Oh, sugar Bina. So can I steal yours? Can I steal yours? And you can have mine cause mine using that is on old drive.

Lotte Jeffs:  Oh, my God. That’s the, that is the most perfect drag King name. Oh no. 

Stu Oakley:  So you can have mine and I’ll have yours. I’ll be sugar Bina. 

Lotte Jeffs:  Thank you all so much for listening. It’s been a pleasure as always. 

Stu Oakley:  So Lotte, you have been a fabulous, gorgeous, wonderful queen, but it is time for you now on myself to sashay, away.

Lotte Jeffs:  if I, everybody I’m remember if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an amen? 

Stu Oakley:  Amen. What you going to dream about tonight? Should I have drag Queens? Okay. No, not my baby. Give me a